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Sophie's Dilemma
By
Patricia Jackways
Spare a thought for the Countess of Wessex.
She's really in a terrible fix.
She's just made the most awful faux pas,
In fact, she dropped a whole load of bricks
She had met this handsome young Arab, you see,
And they had started to chat,
Of matters that would have been best left unsaid.
When she found out she'd been tricked, she wished she was dead!
Now the queen's not amused, we've all been told,
But there's not a great deal she can do.
Her own family can drop the odd clanger.
Prince Philip has dropped quite a few!
And there is Charles her first born, and heir to the throne,
When he's not with Camilla, you'll find him alone,
Down in his garden where he spends happy hours,
Having the odd cozy chat, with the veggies and flowers.
We know Princess Anne is not known for her tact.
and her speech can be vulgar and crude.
An impatient lass, I'm afraid it's a fact.
At times she can be rather rude.
Especially to ladies with baskets of flowers,
(Too bad the old loves had been waiting for hours!!)
Instead of cavorting with Las Vegas strippers
Perhaps Andrew should stay with Fergie and nippers,
But Edward's the one with the problem right now.
He should have a stern talk with his bride.
"By marrying me, you're almost a royal,
So button those lips and show that you're loyal.
When chatting in public, please do it our way.
I'm sure mummy could teach you the odd cliché."
"Keep all conversation vague, but polite,
With meaningless platitudes, not heavy, just light.
Now don't take offence, Sophie my dear,
but in the near future, should an Arab appear
And smile at you with a mid-eastern leer,
Watch out! Take care! Step back and stay clear.
He may be a wolf in sheiks clothing!!!"
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